


Here to Stay

by ttbbhatter



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Moping adrien, Old crushes, looking back, moping, reunited
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-09-17 15:43:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9332084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ttbbhatter/pseuds/ttbbhatter
Summary: "when you leave something behind, you realise how much it meant to you. you miss the people you love, the person you were in that time, everything. even an old childish crush." - unknown-discontinued-;-;





	1. He's Back

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lil_fangirl27](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lil_fangirl27/gifts).



> Second MBUG fanfic! This one is not related to my other one "The Cat on the Catwalk" but still focuses on the same couples as you probs know. Thank you for clicking on this and I hope you enjoy!!

Marinette's POV

Sweet sixteen, formal, graduation, college, all of them went by in a flash. Although at the time it felt like time couldn't move any slower, now looking back I've realised it was that they were the quickest years of my life. Now connection with anyone from school is limited. The last person I talked to from school was Alya but that was months ago. I'm currently in my new studio sketching designs for my boutique, Dupain Cheng. I can't help but look back on everything that happened in my teen years. Is there such a thing as looking back too much? With a large class picture on my desk, it's hard not to. 

Alya, my best friend who was now occupied because she was busy writing her daily article for the celebrity goss mag, Fame. 

Nino,the DJ who I was actually on surprisingly good terms with disappeared because he left on an international tour but after it ended, sightings of him and contact were gone. Not even his girlfriend Alya knew where he'd vanished to.

Sabrina, Chloe's sidekick but despite that, I still saw her as a good person but after school I never really talked to her.

Chloe, mean girl of the school. Even though she was so annoying to the point where I'd literally be contemplating whether I should drop kick her face or not, But sometimes on a very rare occasion but I'm talking VERY rare, she can be nice, but she's out of my contact list, not like she was ever in it.

And though there are many more like Rose, Juleka and others, I skip right past them to Adrien, my middle school crush. Every time I stare at the handsome blonde, memories flood back. Me being that crazy fangirl. I moved on from that love ages ago. Though I do wish I could find a way to contact him again. He flew off to New York with his dad, Gabriel to advertise over there and double the sales. Even though I barely could bring myself to talk to him back then, we still established our friendship and actually hung out a few times, obviously with Alya and Nino by our sides. But sadly, they're all gone. 

Although I rarely talk to Alya, it doesn't stop me from drowning in sadness over the fact that the best years of my life have already gone in one click of the finger. I can hear my assistant nearing the door so I aggressively grab a couple of tissues and roughly rub my eyes trying to eradicate the tears that ran from my eyes.

Lorraine waltzed into the room, she was always so cheery and positive. It was her smile that made my tears go away naturally. She's no Alya but definitely coming in a close second. She picks up the papers and heads off wishing me a merry day. She's so organised but when she leaves, I find myself staring at the picture again. I pick it up and look at all of their young faces. My eyes fill up with tears again. But this time, they're out of joy, not pain. 

Later...

I'm currently lying down on the scratched up couch wrapped in my silk blanket. The TV is playing some sort of documentary but I'm honestly not paying attention as all I can think about is how much I miss the company of everyone. Sure everyone that I've met after school are great and all but they could never replace anyone from before except for Chloe. It would've been a little better if my parents didn't have to move to Nice, the port beach town. I couldn't accept going away from Paris though, all of my roots are here. Although I miss them to the moon and back, we Skype everyday so at least I can see them everyday. 

After they moved out though I was so alone and moved out of the bakery house into a cheap apartment a few blocks over. I decide to turn off the TV and pick up my phone. All of my apps are sketching and music apps. I click on messages and see that I haven't messaged anyone in the longest time. Maybe it was my own fault that I'd lost connection with everyone. Maybe I had to start the conversation. But I knew Alya was busy because she was just promoted and she told me she was busier than ever and didn't even have time to take a decent seven hour sleep. I decided to text Adrien. It felt like the old times, I was nervous to hit send.

"Hey Adrien, I know we haven't talked in the longest time but I want to know how you've been going in New York. It's a surprise if you actually reply but yeah. Marinette"

Eventually my shaky fingers hit send and I lay there patiently waiting for a reply. Although I couldn't wait to see if there was going to a reply, I dozed off in no time. 

In the morning...

Waking up, I immediately pick up the phone and see I have one message. I quickly type my password and open the app. To my surprise it's actually Adrien. I thought all hope was lost after the first hour but I read it anyway. 

"Hey Mari, not sure if I'm still allowed to call you that after four years. Haven't talked to anyone in years. Father and I have moved away from New York into a more homey place. But now we live in this compact of multiple apartments and it's really cheap but we do have quite a little bit to spend. Not bragging lol. Nice to be in touch."

I'm so happy but wonder where he could've gone to. At least before I could've tracked him down if I needed to but I have no idea about his whereabouts. He said homey. I don't hope he means that. All I want is for everyone to be back in Paris. 

This time my eyes don't rain tears but I'm still in no mood to do anything but reminisce. I decide its best for me to stay home today so I call Lorraine and tell her to notify everyone that today is a day off. Even though I know the stress of work today is gone, I still feel sad. I was never like this. I could be stronger but didn't want to. 

I'm still sat on the couch but I did get up at one point to eat breakfast. Tikki came out of the little portable house I made her and looked sad too. For her it was a different sadness. I know it's because Ladybug is out of the papers. So is Chat Noir. When akuma attacks decreased to almost once every three months, there wasn't as much excitement. Eventually the akumazations stopped. Don't get me wrong, Paris out of harms way was great and all but I missed the thrill of swinging from building to building and being with Chat Noir. Aside from his sucky puns and cockiness, he was caring and fun to be around but he's out of the hero scene. Occasionally I'll transform just to feel the costume again and for Tikki to get a little joy but it's just not the same. 

Outside of my door, I hear two people arguing. Their voices sound somewhat familiar but I can't put my finger on it. I ignore it thinking I'm just a weirdo and turn on the TV. Immediately the news jingle plays but I'm too lazy to change the channel. There's a puppy saved by a human chain and honestly that was really cute. There is also a plumber charging ridiculous prices and making problems worse. So many over stories came but none of them really caught my eye except for one. 

"For all fashionistas, the amazing Gabriel Agreste has returned but currently living in apartment due to mansion being rented for a weekend." After running the words through my head, I realised Adrien was in Paris too! But the thing is if he's in an apartment like he said and the news, which apartment block would he be in?!

I then realised I sounded really creepy and was beginning to grow back into old Marinette. I pick up my phone and immediately text Adrien. At least I haven't grown back into barely being able to type one word to the gorgeous blonde model. What was I thinking? That crush was left behind a while ago.

"Hey Adrien. I heard you were actually back in Paris. Thought you'd found somewhere to replace home. Hey wanna meet up in ten minutes at that cafe you, Nino, Alya and I used to hang out at?" 

I pressed send without hesitating. It was nice to think I could actually see someone's face from a while back. He sent a reply about two minutes later which for me was really lucky.

"Of course. Nothing beats that cafe's hot chocolate. And what were you thinking?? Paris will never not be home." 

I smiled. Tikki smiles too. She is happy that I'm out and happy. Obviously work is pretty cool but this was something else. Reuniting with a true friend. I rush into my room grabbing my coat and I change from sweatpants to tight leggings. When I run to my apartment door, I grab my boots and run out trying to put them on at the same time. I couldn't believe I had asked him to go in ten minutes but he said yes so there wasn't that big of a problem. 

When I arrive at the cafe, I'm reminded of my youth. Although I am still only twenty two, I felt old seeing the tiny cafe perched on the side of the chic street. Good old memories overwhelmed me but luckily I pulled myself together and sat down on a table outside. The winter air brushed through my long blue strands of hair. The aroma of coffee wafted around me. Before I knew it, the gorgeous model appeared and sat down across me. Even though I knew no feelings were there, I couldn't help but paint red stains on my cheek. That lovely smile could light up a whole town. Hearing his voice after a while was relaxing. 

"You've certainly changed since middle school." He says with a smug grin on his face.  
I know it's true but I respond with:

"I'm still the same old clumsy Marinette and you are still looking the same as four years ago." We exchange puns and our recent adventures until the night becomes dark and cold. We both stand up to leave and wave but before I are a single step, Adrien begins to speak.

"It's nice to know that we can talk like friends again and you don't stammer as much as when you had a childish crush on me." A large smile creeps onto his face but I'm lef in shock and embarrassment.

"You can thank a little bird called Alya for that. Graduation was over and then she told me" my face grows red but the chilly wind returns it to the pale skin it always is. Instead of running away in embarrassment, I laugh and say:

"Yeah, but that was a while ago"


	2. Jagged Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter two! I know I said it may take a while but decided eh I'll work my butt off and post today. Sorry about my rambling. Anyways I hope you enjoy!

Marinette's POV

Even though I spent the majority of the day chatting away at the cafe with Adrien, the evening is still young despite the sky being so dark and gloomy. I'm a little mad at Alya for telling him about my former crush but it's the past and I'm happy it's something we can just laugh about now. Seeing a childhood friend made Paris feel truly like home. Over the years alone, this city grew to be just where I lived. Even though it was only a few hours with Adrien, it made Paris feel the same as it did years ago. 

I feel like the past day have just been about looking back and feeling lonely but I guess I'm not as lonely as before. Even though I'm not even sure he'll want to meet up again, I can hope that he will. Tomorrow is about work and work only. Although I do want to have a little fun in the evening but I'm not exactly are if that's possible with the way I've been for a few days. Hopefully meeting up with him has given me enough spirit to work and have fun successfully. 

I walk into my cold apartment bedroom. Seeing this makes me feel gloomy all over again. Desperate to warm myself up, I turn on the small heater on the side of the bed. It gives off a warm breath of air making me feel warm and cosy. I change into a pair of fluffy pyjamas and curl up in my thick sheets. Luckily I forgot to turn on the lights so I don't have to get up and turn them off. Before I can get comfortable, my phone buzzes illuminating a section of the room. I can see from notifications it's from. Adrien. Excited, I quickly punch my password in and read his text. 

"Hey Mari, just asking if you'd like to come to the last Jagged Stone concert with me on Friday, you down?"

Jagged Stone, I hardly listened to him after school. But now being reminded of his existence, I squealed like a little girl. I'd never think he'd retire so early. But I didn't really care. I replied with:

"Ummm, YES. So excited"

"Cool ,see you in two days."

Now I have more motivation to work tomorrow. I feel like a schoolgirl going to her first concert even though I've already attended a Jagged Stone concert. I set the heater to turn off at ten PM and sleep without a single doubt clouding my head. 

In the morning...

I wake up and change into winter clothing and head straight to the office. Yes, I did brush my teeth and everything but that was rushed. I feel motivated to make this day productive and get things done. 

The day goes by quick but I've definitely made a reasonable amount of designs and worked out what things to do next for my fashion line and boutique. When I get back to the apartment I see Adrien standing in the lobby. He's waiting by the toilet alone. I walk up to him and ask why he is here.

"Hey Adrien, I just wanted to know WHY ARE YOU HERE?" He looks at me and laughs. 

"If you listened to the news, you'd know I'd be in an apartment"

I knew he was in an apartment I just didn't know which apartment in Paris. I laugh and take the elevator not saying another word in hopes of him forgetting the next day.

When I enter the apartment again, I slouch and feel so tired. But then Tikki flies out and exclaims that she is excited for J Stone. I'm surprised she likes his music but don't give it a second thought and start celebrating. 

I turn on my phone and play his album. We rock out all night even though the people next door complain. All Tikki and I do is dance and sing until our fun is ruined by the apartment owner. I decide to call it a night and Tikki does too. I'm feeling happy again. I've been tired, lonely and sad for years but ever since Adrien came, it all suddenly became a world where I had no problems. I was right. I lost all of my connections because of my own self. If I wanted to talk why didn't I start the conversation? Even though it's only one out of many others, it's a start. Slowly I doze off into my own personal bubble of dreams.

In my bubble, it's Adrien, Alya and Nino. We're all hanging out at Adrien's house and eating and having fun. Gabriel is kinda just chilling outside. It feels so comforting being in my best friends's presence. I don't want to call it a dream. I want it to be reality. Of course in my dream I don't really know that. Alya and Nino go out to get more donuts and Adrien and I are left alone. It's so awkward. But eventually he speaks.

"Marinette, I wanna be as happy as Alya and Nino are together. And I know who I want it to be with." I want to know the answer and ask who. Before he can answer, my phone buzzes. I'm back in reality. I've woken up from a dream. But I don't know if I should call it that. Adrien and I? An item? No way that was happening. But I couldn't help but think. What if? It didn't seem that crazy back in middle school but now, we were only just reunited and have nothing more than a good friendship. I shake off the thought and get into the bathroom to start my daily routine of brushing teeth, doing hair, tiny swatch of gloss and then eating breakfast, in the kitchen of course. 

My whiteboard has a message written in bubble letters.

"JAGGED STONE CONCERT"

I'm reminded and squeal so loud Tikki flies out and starts celebrating with me. But I'm also reminded of last nights events and crank the excitement down a bit. I changed into coat and some leggings with boots like the day before yesterday and wait at my table. I know the concert isn't until later so I know I can change into a little more of a concert appropriate outfit. I play Episode and Choices but every time I hit a choice with diamonds I literally cry. I watch a series of YouTube videos consisting of my fave youtubers. After that I take a nap as my eyes are worn out and I feel like my spirit needs recharging. 

When my phone flashes in my eyes, I wake up only to see that Adrien is ringing me. I start the call. 

"Dude why are you calling me?" I say still half asleep. He chuckles and replies with the concert is in an hour and it's a forty minute drive so we had to go now. I realised I still had to change so I hung up without explaining and rushed to my wardrobe and put on a off the shoulder romper that was purple and blue. I was in a rush and dint know what I was doing. Running to my apartment door with Tikki in my bag, I placed some sandals on my feet. When I opened my door Adrien's face was right in front of mine. 

"I didn't realise you were out here! How do you even know my apartment number?" I say shaking and a red stain appears on my cheeks. 

"I called to tell you I was at the door but you hung up. And I'm not telling you about the apartment number thing." He explained. We walk out of the door of the lobby and straight into Gorilla's limo. 

"Hey Gorilla! Thanks for driving us tonight." Adrien said as Gorilla drove away from the apartments. All he did was grumble and kept driving. It was an awkward drive. I don't think Adrien is really allowed to talk in the car and I was scared of Gorilla. The forty minutes went by slower then I could've ever imagined but thankfully we arrived at the concert. As soon as I stepped out, I was exposed to the cold and face palmed myself for not bringing a jacket. We were twenty minutes early but still the concert was flooding with fans. I was squished with Adrien. It felt uncomfortable but nice next to him at the same time. 

Eventually after pushing and shoving, we made it in and the rock star sang a series of songs from all of his albums. I rocked with Adrien and could feel Tikki dancing around in my bag too. 

When the concert ended, I was once again exposed to the cold winter air and shivered. Adrien looked at me and almost laughed but instead offered me his jacket. In my head I was thinking, how cliché but sweet. I accepted with gratitude and we walked car once again for another forty minutes worth of driving. It wasn't as awkward as before but still was deadly silent.

Suddenly the car bumped violently. My upper body flung onto Adrien but I was still secure with my seatbelt. Adrien's face was inches apart like before at the apartment. Why did this keep happening??! I could feel his breath touching my cold skin but I processed what was happening and pulled myself away. Now the car ride was even more awkward than before. 

Back at the apartments, I gave Adrien back his jacket and ran to my apartment hoping not to have anymore conversation. Why did I feel so flustered? There was no reason to. Our faces were close, whatevs right? RIGHT??! Maybe I'm just trying to deny past feelings. I really don't know. Who knows how I really feel when I don't even know myself. My head is telling me no but my heart is telling me something else. But it's not clear what it's telling me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! And the dream in this chapter is actually based off my own. Like with actual characters and everything I thought I was Marinette in the dream. It played out a little differently in my head though and the were some weird details I left out. Anyways, sorry that's it's quite short but thanks!!


	3. Winter Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I will say that most of this chapter is Adrien moping but the rest is some more Adrienette. I'm also sorry that it's quite short! But please enjoy!

Adrien's POV

I bribed my dad to come back to Paris for one reason. Because I knew Marinette was here, in this city. Obviously I didn't tell him that. When Alya told me Marinette liked me or at least used to, I had hope that maybe those feelings would carry on while I was in NY. It turns out she's over me because I've been gone. But the whole point of me moving my life over here once again was to see her and hope that we could, well be an "item". It is saddening for me to see her clearly over me and so unaffectionate. Our relationship is currently friends. I thought at Jagged Stone's concert, we could establish something more. But seems like she's over me, done, moved on. Although I might've been oblivious about her feelings before, she is oblivious to mine. Why does she not see the reason I'm here?Maybe I just have to wait and be patient.

It's the day after Jagged's concert. It was his last but it was my first 'date' with Marinette according to me at least. She probably just thinks I've taken her as a friend. I don't want it like that. Today is the day when we're moving back into our mansion. When we left, Nathalie decided to put it up for temporary rent to bring in extra dollars despite our already filled up banks. I've donated half of my money to charity in secret, my dad wouldn't approve but I couldn't stand having a more than sufficient amount of money and not use it for someone else. 

It kills me that I can't simply walk to Marinette's apartment to say hi now, even though I really only came once. I guess I can drive over but let's be real, will father let me go without telling him the real reason. I say no. I'm disappointed by her lack of feelings. Maybe it's not meant to be. I should've realised these feelings sooner. The desire to hold her tight in my arms and to embrace and be loved up swallowed me and I couldn't get out. Even if I tried to deny my feelings so I wouldn't be hurt, the feelings prisoned me and breaking the bars to get out was one impossible challenge. 

Plagg teases me on an hourly basis but I don't really care. I flopped onto my old bed. It discomforted me knowing that people had slept here. I could smell sweat and perfume. I quickly jumped off and sat down at my desk. Judging by the state my computer was in, it was probably included in the rental, obviously. I sat down and turned it on. The background was now an adorable cat purring. The original background was still saved on a folder so I changed it back and sat down. I sighed. What would you do in this situation mother? Did you long and desire for love like I do?

What am I doing with my life? Talking to a computer. We've all done it right? It's probably just me. I had to move on. Marinette clearly has already. But why can't I. Four years was enough for her. It surely can be enough for me. In middle school, I was oblivious to these feelings. I had to get outside. Desperate to be free, I ran into the bathroom and transformed into Chat Noir. I jumped outside into the cool air of Paris. A few Parisians spotted me and looked surprised but all I wanted to do was jump around. 

That wasn't true. My true desire was to go to the apartment block. I'd detransform in the toilet because I know that this apartment clock doesn't have cameras in there. When I'm in the toilet I detransform and walk out acting like nothing happened.i walk to Marinette's apartment and knocked on the door, hoping she'd welcome me in. Inside I could hear her and someone else rocking out to Jagged Stone. I laughed. Guess I brought out the rock side. But my thoughts wanted to know who else was in there. I knocked again, this time purposely knocking it really hard. It takes a few seconds for her to react but the music tones down and at the door is Marinette.

"He--y Adri-e-- uhhhh sorry. " she says. Great. She's flustered about last night so she can't even talk to me. If only she'd be happy about it. She doesn't want my feelings. I don't even know if she can tell how I feel. Sad, I slouch into her apartment. I guess I've spent my time coming here, might as well have some snacks and be on my way y'know. I'm confused as no one else is here. I swear I heard someone else before. 

It's so awkward. Suddenly the Jagged Stone album blasts on again. Mari panics and reaches to turn it down. My instinct is to slap her hand down and start dancing. When I'm busting my moves, I realise what I'm doing and think damn I'm an idiot. But to my surprise, Mari stands up and starts rocking out too. We sing and dance and another surprise that hit me was that no one yelled or came to complain. 

Suddenly, the last gets flickered and we're both let in darkness and the Jagged music has stopped playing from the plug in radio. I can't promise chess what is happening and stand still. But then the lights flicker back up and I breathe a sigh of relief. So does Marinette. The music doesn't run back on though. Then the lights go out for more than three seconds.i wait thinking it'll go back on but after a minute r two, I start to get scared. Scared, I rush over to the apartment window with Marinette doing the same. It's raining like there's no tomorrow. Outside, people run to take shelter because rain is taking over the city. Luckily, it becomes a light shower but is still scary. 

Marinette is shivering. I don't know what to do. It'll be awkward if I try to warm her. But to my surprise she runs into her room grabbing my hand. She cuddles in her bed with a blanket wrapped around her. She whispers while chattering.

"Come here, we need to get warm. I try to navigate my way to the bed and end up hitting my shin on her cupboard. I make it onto the bed and huddle with her. For me I'm thinking, it's what I want but I know this isn't real. It's only because of the blackout. 

"You're warm" she whispers. My cheeks are stained red so I'm relieved she can't see. She huddles closer. She apologises but I say nothing. I'm too flustered. Instead, I place my head on hers and close my eyes. We stay like this for a good five minutes.

"You still cold?" I say.

"No, not really but can we stay like this?" She replies. I'm surprised by her answer but don't complain. We keep on huddling until she gets an email from the lobby manager saying Paris power emailed them saying the power won't come on until 2:45AM

"Dang father probably wants me to get home and this is probably really awkward for you because I only came a couple of days ago" I say while standing up to leave the room.

She grabs my hand tighter than before.

"No, stay, it's still raining like crazy out there!" 

"It's fine Marinette, I have one crazy strong umbrella in my coat that--"

"Ok, the truth is, I like it better when your here so please stay." 

The room is still dark but her cheeks are flashing so red that the darkness can't overcome it. She probably just likes having company that's why I need to stay. But I can't. It'll just remind me of how I'm hurt but her lack of feelings.But she quickly shouts again.

"Adrien, can't you see what I'm trying to tell you?! I..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of what Marinette says will be in the next chapter but I'm pretty sure many of you already know what she's gonna say. I did have a blackout last night with a giant storm too so you could say that is based off of my life. But I steady of trying to be warm, we lay on the tile because it was so hot. Australia life! Anyways thank you for reading! Next chapter will be out well... I dunno when.


	4. Fantasies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I'm just going to say sorry because  
> 1\. It's been a while since I last updated  
> 2\. The ending note from last chapter said it would say what Marinette was going to say and technically yeah she does say it but I was different than planned so ya  
> 3.Near the end of this chapter, a lot more of the text is her thoughts while asleep  
> 4.its cheesy  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy!! :)

Marinette's POV

"Adrien, can't you see what I'm trying to tell you?! I..."

His face looked at mine, his eyebrows raised. He wanted to leave. I couldn't bring myself to say it.

"I... Hope you have good luck getting back." 

He nods but somehow, I can see a glint of disappointment. From the time I came home from the Jagged concert to the time he'd came just now, I'd made up my mind that I did know my true perspective on this relationship. It was middle school all over again. I tried telling him before but there is no way I can do it without being sure I won't get hurt. After all, he's probably not looking for a relationship. 

I've matured and grown up and yet, I still can't bring myself to tell him. This time I don't want to let him slip away. I've only just realised I never moved on. But it doesn't feel like a childish crush. It's feels like something genuine. Like its real. But he could never want someone like me. Thinking about all of this my mind turns off sending me into a deep sleep. 

In the morning, I wake up and walk over to the window to see kids playing around in puddles and snow that must've fallen while I was asleep. I change into a pair of your typical winter clothing and waltz out. 

I walk around thinking back when I was a toddler, I was exactly like some of these energetic kids who'd just play without caring what happened. My breath was like a dragon, cold icy puffs coming out of my nose and mouth when I spoke to myself.

But no matter what happiness I tried to envelope myself in, the disappointment I'd wrapped myself in refused to be covered. Adrien had been a little more than a friend these past few days but I'm pretty sure that was a one time thing or not even intended. Besides, how could he ever see something in a mere bakers daughter?

No, I couldn't think like that. I didn't get why people insulted others for being the children of bakers, farmers, janitors, anything that is stereotypically labeled lowly. But let's be real, Adrien, the model and son of the founder of 'Gabriel'?? I'm living in a dream to think he could possibly love me. 

Last night was honestly me living my middle school dreams. Cuddling in the cold. It was weird that he even agreed to join. I guess he just needed to get warm too. No. No more moping Marinette. I sighed and walked off over to the Eiffel Tower.

This was where I defeated Hawkmoth for the first time. But now, fresh piles of snow frosted the top of the tower like a cake with icing sugar dusted on the top. The wind is light but still freezing so I plop my hoodie on with the coat hood on top covering my face from others. 

I spot a bench that isn't completely covered in snow and sit down on the furthest end as a hooded man also is sitting there. Curious about his identity, I glance at him several times but he never turns. Eventually, I don't bother and sit in awkward silence. 

Then he speaks.

"Ma'am, do you know what to do when you like someone but you don't think they like you back?"

I can't see his face but I can hear in his voice his desperation to get this person. But I don't know how to answer.

"Umm, I don't know if I can be the biggest help because I'm kinda in the same situation. The thing is, you just gotta hope they feel the same way. Even if it doesn't feel like that. I don't know if I'd do it but you can try." I reply.

"Thank you ma'am. Have a wonderful day" he says before standing up and walking away. What a lovely soul. I'm confused as to why i can't take my own advice. I'm a little more scared then people usually are. Some people are so brave like Alya and Nino. And... ladybug. But she's gone. My ladybug inside is gone. But I wish it wasn't.

I decide what's best for me is to walk off back to the apartment and rest. It was getting cooler as the minutes passed and it wasn't like I had anything to do here except remind myself how lonely I am. 

When I arrive at my apartment door, I see a figure knocking at the door. I recognise his coat from before. He was the mysterious stranger! But like I said, he was a stranger so I said:

"Excuse me sir but may I get into my apartment?"

His hooded face nodded in embarrassment and he moved aside. I opened the door and slouched inside. The man had vanished from the door when I looked again. Was I hallucinating? I shrugged at the thought. Did my life have any significance? Sure I was Ladybug and all but that was years ago. Hawkmoth never attacked after college. I can't say I'm Ladybug to myself anymore because I'm not. Surprisingly Tikki hasn't left me. She believes I can be Ladybug again. But I'm not so sure. 

My train of thought crashes as someone is knocking on the door. I groan and walk over to see the hooded man again. He brushes the hoodie off of his head only to be Adrien! A red stain paints itself onto my cheeks. But it only takes moments for me to realise that he loves someone and asked me for advice. I guess this is just reality. We don't always get what we want.

It feels like my heart jumped out of my chest and started punching me. Even though I knew such fantasies weren't likely to happen, I thought that I've already had good luck with being an actual superhero that this crush could've been a thing too. But I guess not. I'm paralysed and am not processing anything happening around me, not that there seems to be anything. I can hear Adrien's voice, but in that second it's still hard to recognise. Why am I always like this??! Spacing out and moping over things that were unrealistic to me for years. My head still couldn't focus though. As of now, I was still frozen yet running so quickly in my head that I could barely keep up with my own thoughts. I feel myself wobbling but at the same time, my body feels amazingly numb and I believe that I'm just not feeling it today. Adrien shouts something. But before I know it, my sight doesn't even have faint outlines. 

It's black. And yet here I am still thinking. I know I've fainted. But I can't wake myself up. I've been trapped in my own thoughts. Despite the state I'm in, I can feel a warm blanket lightly draped over me and a warm body perched next to me. Life before, I still cannot clearly make out what things are but now by touch and not sight because well I'm asleep. I want to wake up and assure them I'm not dead, in case they think that. But ate the same time, I don't. Waking up means I'll have to face the realities of my world. My mind slowly shut downs officially meaning I'm fully asleep. 

But the voice of the blonde model shoved it open.

"Wake up! You can't leave me here alone. I know you're not dying. It's kinda obvious. But I can't bribe my dad to go to Paris just so I can see you and then only get two nights with you??! That isn't fair!"

Thoughts run through my head like faster than a car speeding away from the police. But I still think it's just a dream. I'm not thinking greatly, I've fainted. Besides all I want to do is rest. Suddenly a gust a warm air blows at me. But I'm still asleep! The warm body becomes more defined and I can make out the specific shape. The blanket curves, the couch lines, my clothing, everything!! But the figure which I've figured out to be Adrien sat next to me moves. 

But he comes back to me a plants a warm peck on my forehead. I'm overwhelmed and feel so tiny. My body warms in embarrassment. But it feels nice. He sits next to me again and for once, I don't feel like I'm being a ridiculous fantasiser hoping for the best. Because it feels like it can be that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! I apologise for any errors and the update time. But thank you, I really mean it! Love from ttbbhatter


	5. Courage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I apologise for the skinny chapter, I always do. But I hope you enjoy. This took me a while and I had HUGE writers block. Every time I tried to write, I couldn't think of anything. But then last night I was really emotional and wrote 80% of this chapter. Enjoy!!

Adrien's POV

It's an awkward situation. I'm kinda sitting next to a fainted Marinette. Hoping that she isn't slightly conscious, I spout a bunch of cheesy confessions. I know there is the 'don't think they're listening but they actually are and it's embarrassing' cliche in various movies and life to be honest. But the way she fell just then was pretty hard. 

I don't want to have to risk being broken. But another thing I don't wanna risk is the shame of me never trying. But who knows where her perspective on me has flown off to. I guess I want this so bad but can't imagine her saying yes. But I really want her to. 

I don't know why I'm always like this though. Moping and sitting around. If I want it so badly, why don't I actually try? Immediately my mindset changes back though. Why would anyone want me, a blonde model who's normally taken for a rich kid with no feelings. But looking back, there's always been someone who's accepted me for me. 

Nino, Alya, Juleka, Rose, Mother.

Marinette.

And yet I feel like I still can't be accepted. I never really had friends until I went to school. But for some reason, having friends is still really exciting for me. The feeling is new and fresh even after four years. 

But I guess that's just me. #lonelykid

I stand to make my self a cup of tea. Yes, Nathalie did teach me manners but as of now, I was rummaging through her kitchen cupboards like a creepy stalker. I had no idea where her teabags were, or even if she had any. Every cupboard I opened had at least two cookie bags and macarons. 

But also in every cupboard was at least an a3 collage of our class from years ago. It was refreshing to see their faces. But saddening as well. Because it's all gone. Even if I've found Marinette, she probably doesn't want any business with me. I can see her taste has changed in all things too. 

Her book selections are now from Isabella Jovel and J.K Rowling, which I was honestly surprised by, she didn't seem like that kind of reader. 

I spot a variety of food that I never would've thought she'd eat. 

I guess her tastes in love interest has also changed.

But she's not to blame, I could've made the move so much earlier. Right after graduation. But I didn't. Over the years I have not done anything to build up courage. In fact if anything, I've only scared myself with the possibilities of everything breaking apart. 

Finally I find the tea bags and save myself from guilt of snooping. The weird thing is, I kinda want to keep going. But it's wrong and I know that. 

I sit myself back down and slowly sip away. 

 

HOURS LATER.

 

I'm still sitting down next to Marinette and quarter past one. I've grown drowsy and tired but I'm waiting for her to wake up. She must really have been hit hard. Eventually I make my way over to her recliner and lay down to rest. It's rude to take her bed and if I attempt to lift her into bed, I'll end up falling asleep and dropping her even harder. 

It doesn't take long for me to drift off into a deep sleep almost forgetting all of the events of today. Even though in the moment I cannot clearly think, a blurry thought wanders through my head. It doesn't stick around for long and I've already completely forgotten about it. 

When I wake up, all I see is Marinette up and watching TV. I sit up and egg watching with her. A superhero show is on, Metallicala and Naturium. We both sat with our eyes glued to the screen. It was do annoying that they didn't know each other's identities. Their mask was covering they're eye section! It's not like they had an identical twin but with saggier eye bags. Mari and I both agreed on that. 

After two episodes, I stood up to make myself a toast with strawberry jam. Even though this is weird to some, I always observe brands and try predict the quality from logo, fonts and name originality. It was a fun game I'd play with myself when I didn't go to school. Of course it was harder back then though because my father would only allow our servants to purchase top end groceries. 

JAMMY!! was the name of the brand. Sounded pretty generic but meh. I thought it was gonna be your regular ol' jam. 

I sat back down and ate away at the crunchy bread, sweet strawberry complementing the toastiness of the bread. The jam tasted wayyy better than expected. It was sweet and tarte but not in your face. Don't ask why this is my life.

Metallicala and Naturium was on for a while. The show is SOO GOOD and there are so many ships to love. It's just annoying because of superhero rules in shows. 

After I stood up to leave I finally realised that Mari had woken up after fainting. But she seemed fine and was getting ready to leave to go to the local bakery. I left happily but when the door shut my eyes grew red and teary. Instead of them running down, I brushed them off and carried on. I guess it's just so disappointing to know that I will never get that chance to love truly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't ask about the jam on toast. Lol hoped you enjoyed this chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> Jarnila, if you're reading, JAMMY forever!  
> Isabella J, if you're reading, MS is so AMAZING ( the bits you've sent meh)


	6. Reflect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long stretch between chapters and the length, I tend to procrastinate a lot. But I thank you for reading so much and am so appreciative. Hope you enjoy!

Marinette's POV

Last night was... Awkward.

I fainted in front of the PERFECT Adrien Agreste. It didn't really matter anyway, he already saw me as some sort of weirdo. Besides those cheesy confessions I could faintly hear were probably just whispers in my imagination. I hated it. I'm hated being that person whose reality was being lonely. Of course Tikki was there but she longed for adventure after so many ladybugless nights. But I can't provide that for her.

It was almost scary seeing her normally bright and caring energy turn so... Sad. Every once in a while she brightens up but I can't guarantee the next day she'll be feeling great. 

Most of the day was spent in my fluffy pjs, lounging on the couch binge watching Metallicala and Naturium. This is my life. There is no way I'm ever going to win the heart of Gabriel Agreste's son. I guess living that lazy life isn't that bad. At least, that's what I tried to tell myself.

It's just, I grew up surrounded by love. My parents, Alya and Nino, Prince Ali and Rose AND Paris is the city of love so what else am I meant to expect?! I'm only twenty two but I expect so much because I'm influenced by those around me. And my standards aren't dropping any lower as long as Adrien is around. Being lonely while the rest of the world have their lifelong partners doesn't seem ideal. 

The only thing that shuts my thoughts out is to sleep. It's the solution to everything if I'm honest. I know I'll never actually escape the cave that I've trapped myself in but I can at least shut it out. 

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Adrien's POV

I sat at my desk, gripping the heart shaped card I received years ago. I never intended to break myself when I nagged my father to come here. In fact, my purpose was to fill those holes created by my family.

In four years, I developed feelings for Marinette that were possibly just as strong as the once active Ladybug. I realised what feelings were being clouded by someone else. I never did reveal my feelings to Ladybug, so how do I expect to change and do the opposite for Marinette?!

I was also never one to be this sensitive and mopey. But for some reason, I couldn't overcome the endless tears that ran down my face. I stared blankly at my wall. It's not like I had anything to do. 

I flopped down. My life sucked, even though I know so many people would be so appreciative to have it. I looked up on my hanging hooks. There hung my soft blue scarf I received on my birthday. Although on that day I believed father gave it to me, he never knew he gave it to me. I put two and two together only to come to a conclusion that someone else did. Of course that was still a mystery.

I never wore it, I never wanted to ruin it. Yet it gave me positive memories that I couldn't give up. I yanked it from the hook and held it in my hands. The soft wool brought back the joy when my fingers first ran through the wooly material. The grip I had on the scarf was so tight that sweat ran down my pale fingers like there was no tomorrow. 

I wrapped it around my neck and once more flopped down. Plagg nagged me for cheese but I didn't lift a finger. I didn't need to smell that Camembert but to be honest, the smell kinda became natural after a while. 

The blue wool tingled my neck but gave a me a familiar feeling of warmth. It felt as if I was right next to Marinette. But I tried to deny the feelings that boiled within me. I tried to push away the pain they were causing me. Because I knew it couldn't be. It's clear she's moved on and I guess that means I have to too. But despite the efforts I put in to hate this woman, there wasn't a way to get rid of them before they could flood back. At one point I considered trying to go on a date with Chloe but I realised I would have dug my own grave with her around. 

It's harder than anyone thinks. And that sucks.

But it's reality and reality isn't everyone's best friend. I desired some sort of company. Living in my fathers stone cold shadow was never great. Being restricted from the real world could never prepare me from the harsh reality everyone else knew as life. I missed everything that everyone else had. But the thing is I DID have an opportunity to keep those things. It was my own fault that I lost contact with everybody except for Chloe, but I muted her notifications, I couldn't stand reading her disgusting remarks about normal people and those lines she stole from famous poets but claimed as her own. 

But my own decisions to move with my father, to ignore those who actually made efforts to speak to me, to shut everyone out... Was my own fault. If I'd known how much pain I would've been in years later, maybe I wouldn't have been sat on my bed today wiping away gallons of tears that flowed continuously for what seemed to be forever.

The evening came by without me even realising. I was snapped out of my reflective mindset by the nostalgic calls of my butler. Except, his voice used to be in pain and tiredness. Now it felt as if he missed us. It made me feel better knowing that there WERE happy people out there and I could be that soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	7. ending hts abruptly - sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for this. All info is down below. Please understand that this decision was so hard but right for me.

Here to Stay note

hey! ttbbhatter here but with bad news. Unfortunately I have lost so much interest in this story. It’s not because of the plot but because I find myself detached and have decided to stop Here to Stay. I may continue this in the future if I ever feel like it but this is a decision I made myself and had to do as everytime I wrote this, I felt pressured to really connect with the plot but I couldn't. I apologise if this is disappointing but everytime I came back to write this, I found myself not writing anything. I tried outlining the chapter plots but I couldn't read them without feeling bleh.  
I will leave this story up for others to read until this point. I worked to write all of this already and do not want it to go to waste. I want to thank everyone who supported me with this story, especially to the person who this story is dedicated to: lil_fangirl27. Thanks to all who commented such as mayuralover, your support is always highly appreciated.  
I really am sorry, I had a lot of hope in this fanfic, even planned a whole series but the way I've been writing it really isn't my best and I’m just not invested in it. Sorry but thanks for supporting me.  
I do have something new planned that I am 100% am invested in. I've already started it and love the plot. My friends helped me come up with the idea and all I can say about it is that it is Angsty, something I normally don't do.I once again apologise but please understand this was a hard decision on my end.Thank you. For all the love. <3

-ttbbhatter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always, ttbbhatter.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I don't know when next update will be and I'm sorry if it's a while but yeah.


End file.
